Monday 29 March 2010

Because..

... I know the differences.
... I understand the gullibility of my heart.
... I can see that you think me a kid.
... I acknowledge that romantic idiot in me.
... I believe that nothing is impossible.
... I cannot take another shattered glass.
... I am beginning to think about you constantly.
... I yearn for that thing you do.
... I may start crying for you.
... I promised myself that I will not let history repeat itself.
... I kept looking around just to have a glimpse of you.
... I have not fallen for you.
... I will find someone who is truly meant for me.
... I know the world will never stop spinning.
... I have the heart of a woman.

If this is what it will take for me to see the bigger picture, I will do it.

No more false hopes and monologues.
No more harbouring secret wishes.
No more thoughts.
No more conversations.
No more will I care.

Don't betray me. Stay still while I lay on the pillow and drift away.

Saturday 27 March 2010

Solid? Liquid? Gas? Gut?

I believe this thing doesn’t let you know when you’ve had it. It settles in you and before you can do anything against it, you’re diseased. All of us treat it like wild creepers – so long as it doesn’t grow over the wall, why bother hacking it away? Then one fine day, it’s too late. The vine has gone over and it’s disastrously difficult to get rid of. Pulling at it only leaves you with bloody hands prickled by those awful thorns. You try some weed killer but apparently resilience happens to be its’ middle name. Out of ideas, you think, let it be. It’ll look like a natural garden decoration.

So it grows wild and free, and before you know it, you’re forced to do something about it – hack it, burn it, trim it or even spend hundreds or thousands of green on it to make it turn in your favour. Before your hair grows an inch, it’s back with a vengeance on your energy, effort, and most probable of all – money.

We don’t actually seek this thing out. Some actively do actually and they go through all sorts to get it. Some get this unknown high and settle for happily ever after. Realists realize (hence being called realists) that you still have shit to go through with this thing but they look at the pros at the end of the day and maybe the perks too. Personally, I had a piece of advice given to me that if I don’t seek it out, it’ll come to me eventually at its’ own pace.

It starts with fondness, unknown affections, and then you end up enamoured. Obsession may also be the end result if this thing isn’t handled with a sound mind or an ounce of logic. Then again, this thing has been given credit to make a person blind, make the world go round, and even change a man’s life. If you still can’t figure out what I’m talking about, it’s a 4-letter word that does NOT start with the letter F.

Maybe the reason why I’m writing about it is because I’m sick of people taking it lightly. I’m sick of people who play games in the name of this thing. I dislike people who say it to anyone just to get what they want or to get laid. Mostly, I hate people who take it for granted and abuse the privilege given to them by this thing. You still won’t be able to walk naked in -40°C though you have the intention when you have it, so use that God-given brain of yours to think.

There is this wonderfully talented and young singer who was discovered by Oprah, who sang a song titled ‘A note to God’. Unlike my annual imaginary letter to Santa, I wish I could deliver a note to mentioned, awesome person. I can settle with Post-Its too..

I’m still figuring out what I’m meant to do with my life. However, I know that no matter what hundreds of books tell me the ‘in’ thing or right thing to do is, I’ll do it my way, my style. I can think for myself and I don’t need to adopt the practice of another to end up lying to my true self. If you can’t accept me for who I am or treat me like an umbrella that’ll shelter you from rain and wind ALL the time, kindly get adopted by a female gorilla or admit yourself into a mental facility.

I heard both of these options offer you a lifetime of security and protection. Sounds better than insurance, no?

Tuesday 23 March 2010

4 Parts + 1 Brick Wall

It's been a funny day. There is no other way to describe it. To elaborate would bore you. Having 2 colleagues on MC within a small group is crazy. Alternating between 2 positions is confusing. I'm very sure I screwed up today. My turn in the queue of people for my boss to have a go at is coming pretty soon. The confusions today would have driven even Einstein to miscalculate his bus fare . However, I'm pretty sure I messed up something. It's like an itch you feel happening but hasn't happened yet.


If I was being monitored today, hooray, I'll definitely fail. Heck, the customers knew I wasn't in sound mind today and asked me, no, treated me like I needed help.


Customer: Ok, so what happens now is that I will sign in with my email right?
Yours truly: No, sir. You have to sign in with your user ID first before..
Customer: Yea, yea. I get what you mean. Then I sign in with my email when I get the reset password. Ok?
Yours truly: You have to sign in with the user ID first sir, then only you get to switch to the email ID. *punches air*
Customer: Ah, ok. So I put in my user ID and I'll get to switch it to the email address, right?
Yours truly: Absolutely right sir. Then, they will prompt you to do the switch. *thanks God*
Customer: Right. So my email address will be in the system automatically. So everytime I want to sign in I will have to use my user ID and email address? Hmm..
Yours truly: *gritting teeth and taking deep breaths*

Customer: I'm already in the website.
Yours truly: Ok madam. Please sign in first.
Customer: Done. *smugly* What next?
Yours truly: Do you see the 'Pay Bills' option at the top?
Customer: Top? It's just *bleep*, *bleep*, *bleep* and *bleep*.
Yours truly: Are you at *bleep*'s website madam?
Customer: Yes, yes. *annoyed*
Yours truly: Are you at www.*bleep*.com.my?
Customer: Oh, hold on. Let me get there. *momentary pause* Ok, now?
Yours truly: Yes, sign in to your account.
Customer: Ok. Can I have the username and password?
Yours truly: I'm sorry madam but we don't have the information for that. Have you registered for online banking with *bleep*?
Customer: I have to do that? No, I didn't. So?

Customer: I want to know where my card is.
Yours truly: Can I have your details first miss?
Customer: I requested for a replacement. It's not here yet. How long does it take for you guys to do it?
Yours truly: *checking* I'm sorry miss but no replacement request was made by you.
Customer: What do you mean no replacement??? I fax and email the form in to you so many times!!
Yours truly: I apologize miss. Do you remember who you spoke with? Did they promise you an immediate reply?
Customer: I got the reply by email that I would have gotten it in 3 days! It's been more than 2 months! What's going on??
Yours truly: That is the automated reply for you to receive a call or email from us miss.

Intense would have been an understatement. Then, my dad surprised me by coming to pick me up from work.

*on the phone*
Yours truly: Where are you?
Pa: At the traffic light. Where are you??
Yours truly: I'm at the bus stand. I don't see your car. *swivels head like mad*
Pa: AT THE TRAFFIC LIGHT. It's right across your building!
Yours truly: You know where my building is..? *remembers his previous failed attempt to locate the building*
Pa: Yes. I'm at the traffic light at the corner of Jalan P Ramlee and Jalan *bleep*.
Yours truly: Where is Jalan *bleep*?
Pa: The entrance to KLCC is right beside the car! I have my car signal on!
Yours truly: Err.. *squints eyes* Ah, I think I see you.
Pa: How many traffic lights are there??
Yours truly: One in front of you and 2 at your back..?
Pa: *calms down* Ish, told you right, opposite your building.
Yours truly: How'd I know that you know where my building is?

He subsequently developed a fever while in the car. I promise you, I wasn't praying or wishing anything like that. All I could think of was about bread. Then we made a stop at Guardian for some ActiveFast. We don't seem to have any sort of medication at home. Lots of chinese herbs though.. Dad was in Guardian for a while and joined me at King's to get some bread.

Pa: Here. *hands plastic bag*
Yours truly: What's that? *eyes suspiciously - what would a father get his daughter from a pharmacy?*
Pa: You and Mae each take one. It's a pepper spray.
Yours truly: *speechless* Huh?

*in the car*
Pa: Take one each. Don't forget to pass to Mae.
Yours truly: Ok.
Pa: Don't simply use it.
Yours truly: *wonders how one can simply use a pepper spray*
Pa: It costs me RM*bleep* each.
Yours truly: O_o''
Pa: Make sure when you're walking in a car park, hold it in your hand. Any unknown guy walks up to you just use it in his face and kick his balls. Then run.
Yours truly: O_O??

My parents have a tendency of saying the right things at the right time. It's not superstition or deja vu, trust me. I've observe the both of them enough to take a warning when they give one. It is NOT cool either. I don't want to use a pepper spray cos I was spooked by a guy walking towards me to get to the paying machine for the parking ticket that I just walked past! Plus, I'm sure I'd leave permanent damage.

Mae laughed hard when I told her that. I couldn't even manage a giggle. I was am tired. Speaking of which, it's Matthew's birthday tomorrow. Got to get him something by tomorrow evening. Plus, he introduced me to PETS. I think it's brilliant. I wish I could watch it everyday to cheer me up. I am also wasting my time wishing that we could have screenings of those in Malaysia. We don't even have reruns of Family Guy or South Park. What more PETS.. *sigh*

PS: Classified information = *bleep* If you're smart enough, you'll piece up the pieces on your own. Au revoir!

Sunday 21 March 2010

Spoon!

I'm no good when it comes to thinking of 5 words or less for a description. Take for example the title of this post. I could reuse rantings, babble or even update. I suck at one liners too.

This post's title is a tribute to the mad hare in Alice In Wonderland the movie. I laughed so hard at the tea party scene I thought the cinema ushers would have man-handled me out. Unfortunately for you, I had no such story to tell.

There is this poster in this underground tunnel somewhere that I pass every week that states,

In life, I have friends. In the net, I have an audience.

It was an advertisement for bloggers under a particular broadband provider who's well-known for using the colour green. So my dear audience, I don't produce or publish the best entertainment around. Do not mind-psyche me to write posts. I only do updates. Entertainment can be found at Google or Youtube. Choose your pick.

Speaking of which, my first real, salaried job is at a call centre. Remember all those times I used to mention that I'd die doing a job that requires me to sit on my fat bottoms all day long facing a computer? It wasn't so bad at first. Now that a month has passed, I need the exercise. Soon enough, I'll fit perfectly into a 2-seater Smart car with no extra space.

STPM results was unexpectedly good. 1 A, 2 A- and 1 B+ was better than I expect. Even more so was the 3.67/4.00 pointer.

Congrats! So, what's next?
University of course but currently work to collect money.

Ah, what course are you looking at?
Communications and sociology. Leaning more towards communications though.

Oooh!! Where are you thinking of applying to?
Public universities, maybe HELP and *mumbles* Singapore.

Seriously??!! OMG, I hope you get it! When will you know the results?
Ha-ha. Yeah, thanks. Maybe in May.. *gets interupted*

You have to keep in touch! That'll be so exciting.. Have you planned what you're going to do there?
Yeah. Study, get a scholarship, keep an average or 3.5/5.0 pointer. Boring stuff.. *fidget*

Aww. I'm gonna miss you! Maybe someday we/I will be able to come down visit you.. *drones on*
*spaces out*

Tis the season every year for SPM/STPM/A-levels/Matriks students. Thanks for all the well wishes and good lucks. Oh, not to forget all the prayers too.

I'm out of interesting things to say. I'm making myself bored of me. By the way, have you heard? Universal Studios has opened in Singapore. Looking forward to dinner with my godpa, auntie, Jacq, Jill and dear ol' Matthew tonight!

This is a special shoutout to everyone in Chambersburg, PA. If you're not from there, this is where you stop reading, nosy. I miss you guys! I really wish that I can go back soon and give everyone of you a big hug. Unfortunately, God has something planned for me. I'm sure in His time, I'll be able to see everyone of you again. Know that all of you are always not far from my thoughts and prayers. I love you all!