Publish Time: 11:30 PM

This is a superfuckingmassive update. Do not say you weren’t warned.

Today, I’ve successfully created a mountain-high pile of eraser rubbings, answered 10 Math questions and read an interesting email from my mother.

Yesterday, my emotions made me crazy and I dreamt 3 separate dreams which boosted my feelings of success and something else...

On Halloween, I attended my first ever concert (The All American Rejects), stood for almost 7 hours straight, drank 7 cans of drinks, peed in a portable plastic toilet booth and couldn’t sleep from the amazing ringing and headache received from standing right in front of many loudspeakers.

The eve of Halloween saw my first Halloween costume party, a text message calling for holy hour during the party, wonderful cupcakes, my first “You’re hot” compliment verbally received and my cackles in the haunted house. I felt a hand moving up my left leg while moving through the rows of chairs and “I shaved today! HAH!” almost spewed out.

Somewhere in October, I went to my first fun fair with Jill. It sucked. It was expensive. It was bloody lame. I should have gone 10 years ago.

I should be studying. It’s an effort to move from here to the table though. I’m cheating on the exercises. I peek at the answers then I write my answers out. God will punish me for not utilizing my brains to its fullest. I KNOW! But I also know He’s helping me in small ways.

I want to write about something interesting but I take time, which I don’t have now. I’m not a wonderful writer. I can’t whip a piece of writing out like I do fried eggs. I’m handicapped in that area. I’ve never had my fiction work published. My first came out 2 weeks ago at the back of my form 6 memory book. The ending wasn’t to my liking. ‘Someone’ I know modified it. I don’t like him. He thinks he’s the local likeness of Amir Khan at 20. And he nags. TOO MUCH.

At this point of my life, I’m worried that my hand will shiver when I hold the pen next week. I contemplate the odds of sitting for an exam in a hospital. I push away all thoughts of filling up forms for universities, scholarships, and loans. I talked to my mum about application to a famous local university and applying for an international scholarship.

Ma: Huh? What’s the point of entering in July when you’re applying for an international scholarship? *pauses for A FEW seconds* If you do well?
Yours truly: I’ll apply for the January 2011 international intake. I have 3 months before the public university intake. I’ll phone them and what not.

So my ma has that much confidence that I’ll do well for this exam. Well, I do too! Somehow that certainty dies with thoughts of studying abroad. I tell myself though, I will visit mum, the brats and everyone in Christian Life Assembly next year! Then Joyce reminds me of the visa interview. Shit. My ma and I also talked about hotel politics for a moment. Then, we got distracted by participants from JHEAT. Sounds cool and flirtatious right? It’s the acronyms for Jabatan Hal Ehwal Agama Terengganu.

I see Isaac arranging something on the living room floor through the door crack. Interesting... Dominoes? Possibly. I’ll go check on him and get back to the set of Math questions. I just remember that I came across something which intrigued me on Facebook. I’m not sure what my feelings are on it. It’s a jumble. I should not think much about it which I did. Now, I should do it again. My world is topsy turvy or rather; my mind is at the moment. I don’t have a good line to end this post with. *sigh*

My Birthday.

It was relaxing. The dinner at Chambers in S2 was all right. What sucked was that night. I came home, came online as usual and before I slept, I felt a little hot. So I ignored it and went to bed, anticipating school the next day. That morning was hell. It felt like somebody blew hot air at me the whole night. I was running a temperature so to the doctor I was asked to go.

Doctor: You have to drink lots of water. I'm giving you 2 days MC.

By Thursday, the fever and headache wasn't letting up so it was another day off school. It wasn't fun. I had the dinner on Saturday night I sure as hell couldn't even walk straight. The shopping trip to Tesco with my mum was blurry and I had to lean on to the push cart to balance myself. So if I was going to be that sick on Saturday, WHAT THE BLOODY HELL??!!

Luckily, everything was much better on Saturday morning. That night was fantastic too. Joyce knitted me a winter scarf in alternating purple and white colours. She's such a doll and I love her to bits. Jill and my godpa got me a Touch N' Go card with RM50 in it. It was the newest card with the One Malaysia concept and in blue colour. I was speechless. I definitely wasn't expecting that from them.

Michelle gave me a custom-made doll that looks exactly like her! It serves to remind me about her of course. Why else would she give me a present? My classmates got me 2 story books which were such enjoyable reading material. Another classmate gave me those solar-powered plants with the moving leaves. My parents gave me the customary ang pau.

Up to that day, it was so damned fun. October definitely was my month. Argh! I'm out of babble time. More to come!

18 more days to STPM.